Signals
by TheTenderFury
Summary: Thumbs up- Just tell me you're alright. Forefinger- You and me. Middle finger- F-U. Ring finger- Together. Pinky- promise. Please read my profile for more info to all my readers who had read and reviewed.
1. Thumbs

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. If I did I would have made Buffy and Spike stay together and Spike wouldn't have died at the end of the series but I digress.

Summary: Signals: Thumbs up- Just tell me you're alright. Forefinger- You and me. Middle finger- F-U. Ring finger- Together. Pinky- promise.

Signals

Chapter 1: Thumbs up. Just tell me you're alright.

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><p>Buffy Summers fluffed her bangs out of her eyes as she looked around the cemetery. It was a pretty quiet night, really. No vampires were out, like they had decided to stay in for the night. Buffy would kill to have that, no pun intended. However she was currently out here, wondering if she left now what that would do for her karma.<p>

Besides she was couldn't figure if she was wanted to run into or run screaming from a certain bleached blonde vampire who currently was getting under her skin more and more lately.

Spike seemed like he had permanently attached himself to her life in a way that both amazed and scared Buffy. This was the same vampire that had tried to kill her during a parent- teacher night because he got bored. But who was she to judge. This may be a job but heck it was pathetic that when bored she found herself in a cemetery.

"Well, well, looks like the Slayer decided to come out and play."

And speak of the Devil. Buffy turned to see Spike leaning on a tall tombstone in his punk glory, the duster swirling the fog as he moved.

"Looks like the vampire decided to work off the blood gut he's developing, eh," Buffy said raising an eyebrow.

"Hey, bite your tongue. There is no way I am getting that." Almost to prove his point, Spike pulled up his slim fit shirt to show a lean and toned stomach. Buffy looked down, trying very hard not to remember what it felt like to have him hover over her in a moment of weakness that seemed to happen more often lately.

Turning, Buffy continued through the cemetery, the slight sound of leather following in her footsteps. Before she knew it Spike stood in front of her, a questioning look on his face. Tilting his head slightly he moved closer.

"What," Buffy asked the blush rising on her cheeks.

"Nothing luv, but something just seems off with you, everything dandy with the Scoobies?" Spike asked.

"Yeah everything for the most part is fine. I'm just tired really is all, I guess." Spike didn't say anything and moved to stand beside her as they continued patrolling.

For some reason just being around Spike made Buffy felt better then she had all day. What with Willow, Dawn, and Xander looking at her like a sideshow freak it felt nice to have someone, anyone beside her. What scared her though was that someone seemed to always be Spike and she really didn't mind at all.

Lost in thought, Buffy didn't see the sneak attack that six vampires decided to issue. She hadn't even realized what had happened until Spike had pulled her behind him and saw that they were surrounded. Standing back to back they surveyed who they were up against.

"So what do you think," Buffy asked a smug smile on her face. "Think we can take them?"

"If not we should be put out of everyone's misery since we've been up against a lot more dangerous than this lot," Spike said over his shoulder. Buffy looked up at him to see the deep blue of his eyes giving into the amber of the demon and a fang gleaming as he smirked at her.

With that Spike and Buffy threw themselves into the fight. Pulling out a stake, Buffy had already staked one as he came at her. With the grace of a dancer, a punch and kick later, the second vampire met with the tip of the stake and vanished into dust.

The last vampire was much more cautious but that didn't help him as Buffy kicked his legs out from beneath him and ended with him staked on the ground.

Buffy looked up from dusting this vampire to see that Spike and the other three were nowhere to be seen. Buffy squashed the panic she felt, this was Spike. He didn't let a couple vampires push him around. He wasn't the Big Bad for nothing. Wandering with a quick jog, Buffy found Spike lying on the ground.

"Spike," Buffy cried as she fell to the ground next to his head.

Spike opened his eyes to see Buffy on her hands and knees, face hovering over his, a slight look of panic in her eyes.

"Wha? Didn't think you needed help so I decided to lounge. Got a problem, pet," Spike said getting up, ignoring the thrill he felt that she was worried about him. Things were weird enough between them as it was.

"God, don't scare me like that again or else I'll kill you myself," Buffy said standing, fist clenched over her stake sealing the deal.

Spike smirked. "Wha, does the Slayer finally admit that she just may have a soft spot for me?" Spike moved closer to Buffy, moving in slightly, not close enough to kiss but enough to feel breath.

Buffy was engulfed in the smell of leather and cigarette smoke, and for a second they said nothing, just feeling the other's presence.

Buffy smiled wistfully. "You'll never know," She said in response to Spike's question. Spike laughed slightly at the answer and with that moved away from her, breaking the contact between them.

"Come on; let's get you home, pet. Little Niblet, Red, and the whelp are not going to be happy if you can't function tomorrow due to you not getting any beauty sleep," Spike said as he walked away. "Besides we dusted six vamps tonight. Not to brag or anything but that's something in my book."

Buffy just shook her head. "Yes dad, we're going."

Spike snorted and with that the two made their way to Revello drive and to Buffy's house. Buffy continued up the front steps while Spike stopped there and watched as she went his expression unreadable.

Buffy turned and looked at him, really looked at him. "Are you sure you're alright? Call me a worrywart but you seriously messed me up by just randomly lying on the ground like that."

Spike said nothing for a second but a grin spread over his face and like a dork, gave her a sarcastic thumbs up. "Pet, I'm fine, I promise. I would tell you if something was wrong. My next favorite thing after bragging is complaining, anyway."

Buffy said nothing. Sure that was true but Spike never complained about stuff that was actually important, much to Buffy's dismay.

"Alright, I believe you. Night, Spike." With that said, Buffy went inside and got ready for bed. Turning off the light and opening the window slightly to let a breeze in, she saw the unmistakable glow of the tip of a cigarette, glowing like a firefly in the darkness under the tree. She couldn't see him, but she felt freakishly protected with him there.

Smiling slightly, Buffy fell instantly into sleep. In the dream like haze, barely a whisper and soft like a lullaby, Buffy thought for an instant, maybe she had heard something, like the swish of a butterfly wing, no make that leather.

"Goodnight, Buffy."

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><p>Whoo! Got the first chapter of my first ever Buffy the Vampire Slayer fanfiction done! Yes! Anyway, I'm on a binge right now. Trying to get my fill of Spuffy because I just love Spike and I love him and Buffy together.<p>

Please review, tell me what you think.

TTF


	2. Forefinger

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I wish I owned Spike but that clearly hasn't happened.

Chapter 2: Forefinger. You and Me.

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><p>At a table at the Bronze, Buffy sat drinking a soda, because frankly she never really got into drinking, because it just wasn't healthy to be a Slayer, living on the Hellmouth, and not somber. Not unless she really needed it, bad.<p>

Besides that experience with beer that made her a Neanderthal was still locked in her mind and best not to think on that. She had been here with Willow but she was pulled away with Xander to help Anya with something, so it seemed that the Slayer was flying solo.

The band was in full swing and it was great, a way to let off steam. However Buffy could feel the stake in her bag, practically itching to be used. She hadn't gone patrolling, mostly because she wanted to hang out with Willow.

Now that the plan was a complete and total bust, Buffy wasn't sure what to do. Sit here and look like an idiot, go on patrol, or find something to entertain.

The first one wasn't tempting at all. The second one was a maybe. The third option was her best better but there wasn't much to entertain. No friends, no boyfriend.

_Then what's Spike_, a traitorous thought came to mind. Frankly the topic of Spike was a topic that Buffy didn't much cover some days. He was something she locked in a box with chains marked do not open. Some other days, she was more than tempted to open said box and wonder.

But then, Buffy would come to Buffy senses and lock it back up.

It wasn't like the thought wasn't there. He was a vampire who protected and comforted her, the Slayer, which was something. Then he got a soul for her, wasn't cursed with one like Angel. He looked after her family as if it was his own.

Plus, Buffy wasn't exactly _blind_. He had just as much for look as Angel, sometimes more. She knew what he could do, knew her flaws, but somehow he still was there.

As if to spring her from her thoughts a song that Buffy happened to like came on. Deciding that it was ok not to have anyone, she got up and headed for the dance floor. Moving to the music, Buffy felt the world fade and swirl. She was there, her body, not an instrument for killing, but at the moment was just Buffy, something she missed. Her eyes closed in the wonder of what was happening that she was just in the moment.

Raising her arms over her head, hips moving in the motions, the music became more alive. But it was more than that, these people had no clue what that meant, that they could come without fear. Buffy knew she did that but she needed to go out more.

Still Buffy couldn't help but feel the glow of someone watching her as she danced. Open her eyes; she looked for the eyes that seemed to seek her out. Causally darting this way and that, Buffy moved so she could find the source of the eyes that followed her.

Looking up she saw only a few people on the upper floor of the Bronze. Still he stood out like a sore thumb. Spike looked down at her in wonder and amusement. Buffy couldn't tell what he was thinking but it was different. Not the typical guy stare full of lust and naughty things, but something much gentler.

Ah right, there was a hint of playfulness to it but that wasn't the point.

Working her way slowly to the dance floor's edge, she saw that he was headed off the rafters, never taking his eyes off her. When they met in the middle Buffy looked at him in bewilderment. Why was he here? Why was he watching her like that, like she was something of a wonder? And more importantly, why didn't she care?

Spike took her hand and with that the two made their way to the middle of the dance floor. Moving to the music with someone was hard when you've haven't done it for awhile. Buffy, however, made due with the feeling of Spike's hands on her hips, swaying her to the beat, his forehead buried into the crook where her neck met her shoulder. Buffy laughed to herself, the irony, of how it wasn't long ago that his mouth being that close to her neck would have made every Slayer instinct she had go haywire.

No, right now it felt like he belonged there with her.

Lifting her hands, Buffy wrapped them around his neck, head coming to rest at his chest, silent and still compared to the energy she felt. She could feel him as he moved with her, his nose and mouth skimming her hair, her jaw line, and her cheek.

Soon the song ended and Buffy and Spike stood there. Buffy turned in Spike's arms to see that his expression wasn't smug or anything like that, it was almost content. His arms and hands held her like she was made of glass, something breakable and fragile. Buffy had missed that feeling.

Holding his hand, Buffy pulled him off the dance floor. Spike followed obediently, weaving effortlessly through the crowd, even with Buffy dragging in a dark corner, not really for anything for privacy but really just to talk, Buffy let go of his hand and looked at him.

"What are you doing in here," She asked.

"Felt like I needed to come out tonight. Sides, you weren't out on patrol and I figured you would be here since the Scoobies are all shacked up your house for some reason."

Buffy said nothing but still felt pretty special, so he was wondering where she was after all. For the first time in a long while Buffy felt a twinge of jealousy for Drusilla. She had years of this attention.

"Well I'm here now. Do you want to start patrolling," She asked as went for her coat besides the table she was at. Spike said nothing, not really looking to leave but decided not to argue with her. Following her wordless, the couple made it outside the Bronze and went to the nearest cemetery.

Buffy didn't really say anything and neither did Spike. There wasn't much to say. The dance was something special and it seemed like talking about it was going to destroy that. However, not talking about it made it seem like it was never there, Buffy thought, and that was highly unacceptable.

Turning to Spike, Buffy made him stop.

"What was that back there? That dance, what was it to you," Buffy asked, wanting an answer, a name to give it.

Spike said nothing for a minute, processing what to say. Finally taking his forefinger, he pointed at her then at himself. "That was us, you and me. No boundaries and no illusions. Whatever way you want to spin it that is what we could be together, luv."

Buffy didn't say anything but smiled softly to herself. Looking at him, she closed the distance between them, leaving only an inch between them. Spike didn't do anything; this was for her to decide. He said he loved her time and time again. That he wanted her and she didn't believe him. No, it was more like she couldn't believe him. He was a vampire; evil, disgusting, and unacceptable. She the Slayer; she killed his kind, was suppose to loathe him, and hate that he was in her life.

She used him, physically and mentally. Every time she said she was disgusted with herself for being with him when really it was the disgust that she was using him the way she was. She missed dating and getting to know someone one- on- one. No instead, he understood her and she went straight to See Buffy Bare All Body/Soul, only to treat him like dirt under her feet. He had become her punching bag and it showed. He rubbed it into her face that this was happening, that he had become her sanctuary, all the while it killed him to want, care, and love her, only to have her reject him over and over again. He had made some stupid mistakes, tried to force her to accept him. In the end, they were both so pathetically broken it would be funny if it wasn't so depressing.

_Maybe that was the point though,_ Buffy thought as she cupped his head with her hand. He leaned into the touch like a cat to its owner, the touch that he knew and memorized because she was important to him on so many levels. Not just as a Slayer, but as the typical and scared girl he knew that was buried under all of it. Spike had called her a creature of darkness, trying to get her to accept him. That was stupid in the long run. He didn't want a creature of the shadows like he was; he already had plenty of darkness to go around. What he needed was sunshine. He needed her, the sun personified to him.

Buffy gently brushed her lips with his, the frisson of his chill and her warmth was staggering, something they never noticed considering every kiss before this was nothing but a passionate frenzy with no tenderness to speak of. That passion and heat helped them bring down a building.

This was different, just the light contact. It was the kiss of the inexperience and lifted his arms and wrapped them around her and buried a hand into her hair, not to pull her closer just to let her know he was still there. Buffy's hands dropped down to his shoulders and grabbed the lapels of his duster, feeling muscle and leather under her hands.

The contact was broken and for a minute, neither moved. Spike pulled his hand out of her hair and moved to her cheek, the heat of her blush burning as he held her face. Buffy didn't move an inch, praying to God that this wasn't a mistake that she could let this happen between them. Buffy looked up to see the pools of bottomless ocean he called eyes looking at her in fear and anticipation of what was going to happen next. Buffy could only smile a little. So he was as scared as she was.

Maybe it was time to let her high and mighty act go. It wasn't getting them anywhere anyway. Besides it was hard to deny that there wasn't something there between them. It wasn't like with Angel, it was different. Not a bad different. It felt more grown up somehow.

She was Buffy Summers, the Slayer, the Chosen One, take the pick of her alias, they all meant her anyway. He was William Pratt, Spike, due to his past of carnage that he was currently trying to repent for, and William the Bloody, thanks to his supposedly God- awful poetry. Buffy chuckled at the thought.

Spike looked at her, wondering what she was laughing about.

Buffy could only laugh more as she replied, "You and me. Us, take your pick. It's the way you look at it that makes it funny."

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><p>Ok- that was somewhat fun. Hahaha, anyway. The thing about Buffy and Spike is that they go from being happy with each other and talking one moment then ready to kill each other the next and they seem freakishly bi-polar. Whatever. I was defiantly channeling the fluff here but next chapter is middle finger: F-U, so that is either going to be a fun chapter to either being a complete flop. Wish me luck.<p>

TTF


	3. Middle Finger

Disclaimer: My birthday passed and I got my cake! I wish I own Spike *blows out candles on cake and looks around*… Damn *sigh* Still don't own.

Chapter 3: Middle finger: F-U or you make the anger more bearable.

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><p>The punching bag couldn't take much more of this. Buffy looked at the sad punching bag that sat on the basement floor. She needed something to do. She didn't go out on patrol. The Potentials were exhausted and didn't want to train right now so they were with Willow, Giles, and Dawn talking about different demons. That and it helped if they knew a little on different things, things to keep their minds off the killings.<p>

And while though that was fine and dandy, Buffy couldn't help but feel restless. She needed something to do, something to take the edge off before she broke something. And as if to answer her prayers, down came Spike, stomping, murmuring about the prattle of girls and how if he heard anymore he would stake himself. Spike stopped when he saw Buffy and the mutilated punching bag at her feet.

"Should I come back because believe me, I can," Spike said edging back up the stairs.

"No you don't have to," Buffy answered moving towards the cot in the basement to sit down. Spike came to join her and soon the two were pulled into silence, clatter and banging from upstairs the concert for them.

"God, I am going to break something if I keep sitting here like this," Buffy said suddenly squirming on the cot.

Spike laughed as Buffy squirmed. "That bored are you?"

"You have no bloody idea," Buffy said tossing some British slang in. Wow, she really did hang out with him too much.

Spike tilted his head in wonder and amusement. "Do you want to go on a patrol?"

Buffy shook her head. "What's the point? Everything with scales and fangs has decided to high- tail it out of here. And besides, for a bunch of annoying girls, I couldn't bear to leave them leave them without a defense of some sorts," Buffy stopped. "Too many have died already and we haven't even hit crunch time."

Buffy lowered her head to her hands in thought. Feeling a hand on her shoulder Buffy looked to see Spike gazing down at her, his eyes showing worry and concern. Buffy wondered if that was always there and why she hadn't seen it before, even without the soul.

Spike could see it wasn't that Buffy needed to do something. She needed something to take the edge of, something else to think about, not what was happening right now. With that, a brilliant idea came to mind.

"Want to spar?"Buffy looked up in rapt attention at his suggestion.

"What," Buffy asked not sure if she heard him right. They went out for training with the girls but Buffy never went up against him anymore, not like when they first had met, especially since he had the chip. No, instead the girls had their turn with a vampire that was gentle with them without fearing that he would hurt them, not with Buffy around and a soul to contend with.

"What? You need something to do, right? A friendly spar between the two of us, what so you say," Spike said getting up.

Buffy thought about it. "No holding back," she asked, stretching, making sure he would fight with his full strength as she would. Buffy had only ever had Giles as a sparring partner but Spike was different. She had sparred with Angel, not to mention fought him, and Riley too, but Spike was the one that she had fought with the most. No, with them it always a dance, who could keep up the best?

"_You think we're dancing," Buffy asked, huffing as he dodged another punch. _

"_That's all we're ever done," Spike said as he came at her. _

Spike smirked at the question. "Afraid to hurt me, Slayer?"

Buffy got up and looked around the basement. "I think we better take this somewhere else. This basement can't take the two of us going at it."

Spike quirked an eyebrow at that. Buffy realized what she had said and blushed slightly at that. "AT SPARRING, YOU PERVERT!"

Spike laughed. "Outside in the backyard, luv. It's dark enough, big enough, and chances are no one will see us because Sunnyhell is virtually a ghost town." Buffy followed Spike up the stairs and made their way to the middle of the backyard and took up a stance, eyeing up one another. Buffy could feel the hum of adrenaline in her veins, not because of the spar but because she was sparring with him. Buffy hated admitting it but sparring with a vampire was fun, the idea of training herself to be better. The ultimate demon killing machine, honed and created by a vampire that tried to kill her himself, the irony was not lost on Buffy at all.

"Ready, luv," Spike said, blue eyes arrogant, face smug.

"Are you ready, William," Buffy asked mockingly, using his real name. Spike smirked and with that the two launched at each other. Buffy came at Spike with a punch, which he dodged and came back for a kick to the ribs that Buffy blocked.

Buffy pulled away from Spike and the two started circling each other, debating on who would make the first move. This continued for several rounds, a circling, only to have them try to beat the tar out of each other without killing themselves. Buffy could feel the sweat she was working up against the night chill. Spike showed no sign of fatigue but was still breathing pretty heavily.

"You alright there, Spike? You look like you're having issues," Buffy said, bouncing on the soles of her feet. Spike flipped her off, a clear sign that she was going to regret that.

"Is that an offer," Buffy asked, sweetly.

Spike smirked. "Only with you, goldilocks." The fight continued, both coming at each other faster and with more strength. Spike pulled her in after a blocked attack and wrapped his arms around Buffy in a vise-like grip. For a moment they didn't move, just breathe in the air around them. Buffy wondered why she only ever felt like this with Spike, like she knew herself, her body, and her mind when she was fighting him or when it came to… other stuff. Buffy thought that maybe that it was just her, how she felt in a fight but lately she had come to realize that maybe it had something to do with Spike. She never felt like that with Angel, she was way too young to know it and she never felt that to start with like she had with Spike, Riley couldn't keep up, not the way that she could. Spike had been there the whole way, fighting her as an enemy, a friend, and a lover.

Buffy felt Spike nuzzle her neck in wonder and gentle thought. Was he thinking the same? That when they fought or had an intimate moment that the feeling that was there was right? Buffy closed her eyes, feeling Spike's unnecessary breath on her neck. It was then that Buffy realize that if he was another vampire, Buffy would be dead by now and drained drier then the Sahara. With that thought, Buffy's eyes snapped open and Buffy fought out of Spike's grip. She turned to find him smirking, obviously wondering what took her so long to break free, a question that even Buffy could read.

"Screw you, Spike," Buffy said charging at him.

"Well, we've been there, done that," Spike said in mocking thought, "What, want to go another round?"

Buffy came at him with a punch to see Spike, grinning with mischief, the suggestion not really a suggestion, just a something to say, but Buffy was happy that she had scratched the surface of Spike's now slightly insane exterior to the Spike who fought, teased, and messed with her. The sad part was that before she might have been offended at the thought. No, now she was finding herself more than a little excited with the prospect.

The fight continued, Buffy now not able to disguise the sweat dripping off her even with the chilly night air and Spike's eyes verged on the liquid gold that his eyes turned to when his demon came out to play. However both knew that neither was going to stop until one came out the victor. So far they had been evenly matched, matching move for move as one seem to win the other came out to sift the balance and the fight began again. Buffy smirked, _but not for long_.

Spike came at her and when he was close enough Buffy ducked that Spike had to roll to gain his balance but Buffy wouldn't have that as she kicked his legs out from underneath him. Spike fell on his back and before he could get up to take up a stance, Buffy came up, knocking him back down before straddling him, a hand over his chest at his un- beating heart, her other hand gripping the grass as it laid next to Spike's head.

"I win," Buffy said in a whisper, smug with a devil may care tone.

Spike could only look at her, not sure what to say and not wanting to ruin this moment with his big mouth. Spike did however bring his hand to Buffy's hand on his chest, entangling his fingers with hers. Buffy didn't pull back and instead met his gaze with one just as intense, like they were the only two people in the world. Buffy leaned further down to Spike, her hair falling like a curtain around them.

"Huhmm," the sound of someone clearing their throat brought the two back to reality.

Spike and Buffy looked to see Vi, Kennedy, Rona, Willow, and Giles standing on the porch. The Potentials had amixed look of awe, embarrassment, and fascination on their faces. Willow had a sort of smug, not all too surprised grin on her face, and Giles, well, Giles was cleaning his glasses with an almost manic enthusiasm.

Buffy recovered first and got off Spike first. "Hey, guys! What's up," Buffy asked in an excited voice, trying to forget that they found them like that. She made a quick glance out of the corner of her eyes to see Spike still sitting on the ground, not looking at her, but at the crowd on the porch. His expression was unreadable and slightly guarded, knowing that chances were he was going to get blamed for the position they were found in when in reality it was Buffy's fault. "How long have you been there," Buffy asked, scared of the answer.

Kennedy answered. "We came out when we saw Spike had you in the chokehold but we didn't hear what we you said after that. We came out right after that." Buffy sighed in some relief, so it wasn't as bad as she thought.

Rona just smirked. "Don't worry, what we did catch was enough that I think the grass has scorch marks from the heat you had going at it."

Vi nodded, her eyes wide. Kennedy came out to Buffy. "Regardless of what Rona said, watching the two of you fight, it's like watching a performance. Not in that fake way, but it's like you two match each other, almost in sync," Kennedy said, eyes truly amazed at the fight. Sure she had seen Buffy and Spike fight in patrol, that was a given. This, however, was like they two of them were talking to each other through their moves. It was beautiful but savage, graceful and brutal and breathtaking. Buffy couldn't say anything. So it showed to other people when they fought.

Willow and the Potentials left the porch then leaving Spike, Buffy, and Giles in a strange silence. Spike got up and with that departed for the basement once again. Buffy wanted to go with but the way Giles looked at her made her realize that her former Watcher and father figure had his fair share of concerns that he wanted to say. As Spike closed the door, Giles came out into the yard in front of Buffy. Buffy squared her shoulders.

He may have been her Watcher, her father when she had none, and the opinion that she valued above anyone else's, but Giles needed to see Buffy as an adult and needed to realize she knew what she was doing about the First, about the Potentials, and about Spike. Giles had left for London several times and sure he came back, but Spike was always there. Even when he went for a soul, he still came back, unlike all the other men in her life. Buffy knew that it was dangerous how much she was relaying on Spike, but she also knew that she was willing to take the chance on him.

Besides, she wasn't ready for her to look over her shoulder and realize that he wasn't there. Buffy blinked at the thought. Lately she wasn't sure if she would ever be ready for Spike not to be there, as a friend, as her second in command, her opponent, or something that made lover seem so small a word.

"Buffy," Giles said, not really sure how to go about this. He saw the fight. It was just as Kennedy said; it was amazing, enthralling to watch not just as Buffy fought but to watch Spike fight back, matching her intensity, giving her his all.

"Giles, if this is about Spike and how he's a danger to everything, I don't want to hear it. Look, I know how bad it is to depend on him like this but, it doesn't feel wrong. I feel like I can believe in him and know that he will be there when it comes down to the wire," Buffy stopped. "You told me before that you and my mother taught me everything I needed to know to figure out my problems. Now I just need you to believe that. If I can, so can you. Respect my decisions, please."

Giles didn't say anything, knowing that she had hit the nose dead on to the root of his thoughts. Spike was nothing but a liability, at least to Giles he was. However, Buffy saw something else to Spike, she always had, the good and the bad to the unusual vampire. He still wasn't that comfortable with this but knew that it wasn't his call; it was Buffy and Spike's. Giles sighed, resigned to whatever this lead to, their weird and ten times more complicated relationship then Buffy ever had with Angel, but who was he to judge, really.

"Your fight was incredible," Giles said, telling her the truth. That fight showed something that the two never revealed to anyone. Buffy tilted her in thought and with that Giles walked away. Buffy stood outside for a few more minutes, cooling off from her fight, not really ready to go back inside. Lying on the grass, Buffy looked at the stars in thought, wondering what it looked like from a star, this little blue planet that had no clue it was going to be sucked into Hell. Buffy closed her eyes against the thought, not wanting the spar that let her release so much energy go to waste.

Soon Buffy heard footsteps on the grass and opening her eyes Buffy looked up to see Spike standing over her, a hand outstretched to pull her up. Buffy grabbed the hand but instead of getting up, Buffy pulled Spike down to the ground. Spike landed next to her and turned on his side to look at her, his legs crossed over hers as he fell. Buffy turned on her side as well and for a moment they didn't say anything, just stared at each other. A hair fell in Buffy's face and Spike picked up his hand to move the hair behind her ear.

"Feel better pet," Spike asked a soft smile on his face.

Buffy nodded and snuggled close to Spike's chest. Spike watched as Buffy fell asleep, memories of the year before haunting him. Before she was so angry and upset that it was shag like rabbits and end up paying for it when she left. This was new, her willing to stay.

Picking Buffy up, Spike managed to get through the house with the help of Willow opening and closing doors till finally he came to Buffy's room. Pulling the covers down, Spike tucked Buffy in as gently as he could without waking her. Kissing her forehead, Spike closed the door behind him and wandered back down to the basement, shaking his head. Damn, he really was love's bitch, but if Buffy treated him like that, something worth keeping, he was happy being love's whipping boy.

Frick, he really needed a life away from the Scoobies. Lying down on his cot, Spike got some much needed sleep, senses focused on the small but powerful and healthy heartbeat that had somehow become his forgotten heart. That was his lullaby, Buffy's heartbeat, as he fell asleep, ready to face whatever the First decided to dish out.

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><p>AN Well that was fun! Writing a battle scene is hard but I'm happy with this until I can get better. The idea for this chapter was more insulting then anger, I suppose but it works. Anyway, next chapter is Forfinger- Together. I have a bad feeling that that's going to be a very bittersweet chapter. Please review! Or you know just say Hi.

TTF


	4. Ring Finger

Disclaimer: Still don't own. Frankly if I was Joss Whedon, Angel would have gotten with someone else. He exists, to all you loving Angel fans, but still.

Chapter 4: Ring finger- Together or never leave me alone.

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><p>The chill coming from the arm around her waist was comforting. Buffy sighed. The First had decided to make its visit earlier and since figuring that they could win, Buffy was having a tough time falling back asleep. Gliding her fingers along Spike's forearm, Buffy thinks more in general terms, trying to be careful. Looking at his arm Buffy traces the semblance of veins that's pumping whatever blood he has in his system.<p>

Moving her eyes from his arm she looked up and stopped breathing. It wasn't fair, really. He was sound asleep. It amazed her, especially now, what with the First threatening to kill them and them planning to take back this world from the terror and horror that they have seen in the past few weeks. No, here he was, sleeping like a baby, his face buried into the pillow and her hair, his arm wrapped around her possessively and protectively. The sharp angles and features of his face soften that Buffy could see the man, no, the boy, William, that was changed all those years ago into Spike.

How did they get here? True, there was unspeakable evil happening outside her door, but Buffy knew that without him here she would have thrown in the towel ages ago. Angel had made it clear that something else was there, that Spike was the other reason she didn't want him around. That this ran deep enough that maybe it rivaled her love for Angel, and maybe, some days, it did that and more.

Buffy remembered the first time that she met Spike.

"_Nice work, luv," a bleached- blonde man said clapping as he came forth from the shadows, watching the show that the newest Slayer had given._

"_Who are you," Buffy asked, not sure what to make of this man. _

"_You'll find out on Saturday," He said, a smirk on his face. _

"_What happens Saturday?"_

"_I kill you." _

That was their first exchange. Over the years they had done nothing but fight to the death, make snarky and sarcastic comments at each other, and tried to understand each other. Maybe that was the point. Spike didn't give her candy with a side of stupidity and ignorance. He gave her reality, bittersweet, constant, and different. He was the one that would tell how it really was when her friends and Watcher wouldn't give that.

It had formed a tentative bond that wasn't quiet hate but wasn't friendship either, it was too big for friendship.

Somewhere along the way, he had fallen in love with her. Buffy closed her eyes and thought back to that night, which like Spike said, had to be one of the best nights of her life.

"_I've been alive a lot longer then you have, and been dead a lot longer than that .I've seen things that you can't imagine and done things I'd prefer you didn't. I don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood which doesn't exactly flow in the direction of my brain. I've made a lot of mistakes, a lot of wrong bloody calls. One hundred plus years and there's only one thing I'm sure of._

_You._

_Hey, look at me. I'm not asking you for anything. When I say "I love you" it's not because I want you or can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and worst of you and understand in perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the One, Buffy." _

Buffy stopped short. That was it, the moment that the she finally realized that she could truly be in love with him as well. Buffy sifted slightly into him. Careful not to wake him up, Buffy lightly traced his features, his straight nose, full lips, and the scars that marred his eyebrow, a memento from the first Slayer he fought, nothing was going to escape her now. It was funny really. She had been this close to him so many times before this with the year before but she never really looked at him. He kind of reminded her of a purebred animal gone feral, beautiful and destructive, graceful and savage. In her wandering Buffy happened to notice her hand in the mix as it came to rest on his chest.

The fingers on her right hand, slender and smooth, the hands of someone that didn't see death, seemed so out of place. Bring her left arm up to see over Spike's arm, she looked at her left hand and its fingers. They seemed the same but one finger stood out of all of them. Her ring finger, bare and naked, Buffy turned her hand over and over in thought. As a Slayer, Buffy never expected to be engaged, let alone married. The longevity of a Slayer was pathetic for a reason. Most never lived past a year or two, Buffy was practically a walking impossibility, so getting married and somehow settling down like Nikki Wood had somehow done never occurred to her. Besides, Buffy knew her record with guys was pretty sad.

First, Angel, who in giving herself to him had turned evil, only to have her kill him, him come back, then leave. Then, Parker, the gnomish player who decided to treat her like a used tissue after he had gotten lucky with her. Riley, who didn't seem like he had what it took to handle her, leaving her when it got bad, and who was currently married now. And finally there was Spike, possibly her most confusing relationship, but also her most liberating one. He was also the one that stayed by her side no matter how hard or difficult it got, unlike her other relationships.

"Luv?"

Buffy stopped her examination and looked to see Spike, one eyes opened, eyebrow lowered in confusion. "Just what in the world are you doing?"

Buffy smiled slightly, "Just thinking about something."

Spike moved slightly that she was drawn in more and could really look at her. "What's on your mind, pet? Is it the First?"

Buffy shook her head. "No, I wasn't thinking about that, surprisingly. I was actually thinking about,.." Buffy stopped short. "You know what never mind, it's stupid."

"Now you can't start something and not finish it. What's on your mind," Spike asked.

Buffy didn't answer him for a minute, not sure how to say this without totally seeming of her rocker. "I just thinking about what it would be like if I wasn't the Slayer and could get married, settle down, figure who I am, you know."

Spike said nothing for a moment, processing what she had told him. He understood Slayers, he had fought two, three if you counted Buffy, but he understood what she was talking about. It was that idea of her just wanting to be a normal girl. She wanted to live a life, to be something else besides the One, the person that held the world on her small shoulders. Spike stopped for a second. If Buffy wasn't the Slayer, would Spike still have met her? They met as Slayer and vampire first, enemies but that grew into something that neither really knew what to call. No, the idea that they never would have met turned Spike's stomach. The chances were slimmer, but not impossible. Spike realized long before this that life without Buffy wasn't really a life at all. He loved who she was, not just the Slayer, Buffy as she was. Buffy who was the sarcastic, determined, artistic, and compassionate person that she was or was at trying to be.

"What brought this now, luv," Spike asked.

"The thought of Angel, I guess. You too, how I'm not done yet with this. I don't know anymore honestly. I really couldn't tell you where this thought came from," Buffy said, rubbing her ring finger in thought. Spike, seeing her do this, took her hand in his and traced patterns on the inside of her wrist with his thumb, lost in thought.

"I really don't know what to say, Buffy. I wish I did though but I don't know what to say," Spike said as he continued his scribbling on her wrist. Buffy closed her eyes at the sensation on her skin.

Buffy realized right now that this really didn't matter right now. This world may end and this wasn't the time for romance, not matter how much Buffy wanted to give into the idea. Closing her eyes, Buffy tried to drift off to sleep again, only to be pulled back from oblivion when she heard Spike.

"But there is one thing I can tell you. You will always have me, pet. I will always have you in my heart. Even if we are not together in the physical sense of the word, I just wanted you to know that," Spike said ducking his head so she couldn't look at him.

Buffy was stunned into silence. It was similar to what she said to Angel earlier about the man beside her. That he was in her heart and chances are he would stay there. Permanently.

"I know that. Together," Buffy said softly.

Spike sighed and lifted a hand to brush a hair behind her ear. Buffy grabbed his hand and kept it on her cheek in thought. When had she been this close to anyone? Spike and Buffy drifted off to sleep only to wake to Dawn at the top of the stairs, calling down to Buffy. Spike let her go, telling her he'd be up in a few. Buffy left, the last thought in her mind of what's to come.

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><p>Buffy stood outside the mouth of the crater that was formerly Sunnydale, looking at what had been her life for seven years. Everyone else was inside the bus treating the wounded and comforting the forgotten. Everything was gone. Her house, her mother's grave, her existence for seven years, several of the Potentials, Anya, Spike…<p>

Buffy could feel the tears falling from her unblinking eyes. Moments like this, she was more than happy to be alone, away from everyone. Her pain was hers right now and she'd be damned if someone told her it wasn't worth it.

"_I love you," Buffy said, her voice small and broke. _

_Spike could only give her a slight smile as his voice shook. "No you don't but thanks for saying it."_

Buffy fell to the ground. _Damn him!_ How was it possible to feel like this and still be alive? She felt like her inside was hollow; blood was replaced with glass and fire that it felt like her circulation was killing her. She should have died, not him. She almost preferred him a coward.

He was gone, really gone. Buffy pounded the ground at her stupid feelings. Happiness that her friends had made it thought, relief that it was over, pride at the Potentials and her sister for simply being amazing, sadness for Anya and Xander, utter despair at her loss of Spike. Buffy pulled herself off the ground and looked down at her slightly black and burnt hand in wonder. She had wanted the fire back and she got it at the last moment from the most unlikely source, a vampire who reveled in his damnation, only to seek redemption because he feel in love with her. Buffy closed her eyes, clenching her scoured hand in thought. She had once told Willow that she thought that real love, passion, and fire of a relationship went hand and hand with fighting. If there ever was a personification of that it was her relationship with Spike.

She could live like a normal girl now with thousands of Slayers now there. The generations were there, the line would more than continue now. Girls would start realizing that and word would need to get out. Faith and she would have their work cut out for them.

"_The hardest thing about this world is to live in it."_

Buffy opened her eyes at that. The words that she had said just before the second time she had died only to have Dawn say the same during the musical experience as Spike held her telling her that she needed to go on living. For the lost Potentials, Anya, her mother, and _him_, she would go on living. It was all she could do.

Buffy walked to the edge of the crater and looked down at the gaping maw of the place that had brought her so much joy, heartache, loss, and triumph. Out of the corner of her eye Buffy saw the welcome sign of her town lying precariously, waiting to fall further down. Buffy got on her stomach and reached for the sign, almost missing it. Pulling it out of the rubble, Buffy finally got to look at it. It seemed so small and sad but this was all that remained of what was and that alone was everything to her, the proof that everything that happened to her in Sunnydale was tangible, that _he _was there.

Buffy got up and turned to the bus, only to stop short when she saw Dawn there, tears in her eyes, a small smile on her face. Buffy didn't know what to say but the tears came back in full force, hugging the sign to her chest. Dawn said nothing but pulled her sister close, comforting her, feeling what she was, which included the vampire that had become her guardian and friend to her, the rebel older brother, even when he had pissed her off beyond all belief.

"Buffy," Dawn said, not sure what to say.

"I'm alright, Dawnie," Buffy said, pulling herself together. Dawn didn't say anything, knowing her sister was clearly lying.

"He loved you, you know," Dawn said. Buffy nodded, a beautiful smile crossed her face, tears in her eyes she realized that her champion was everything and more.

Turning to the crater, Buffy whispered 'I love you' to her mother, Anya, Tara, her home, and to _him_ before turning to Dawn and wrapping an arm around her shoulders, the sign reading "Welcome to Sunnydale!" in her other hand as the two made it toward the bus. Entering the bus, Buffy looked to see that most eyes were trained on her. Some wore masks of shock, others sadness, but a whole lot of joy was seen in that bus. Buffy tilted her head in thought. _You, Spike, you did that. I hope you know that._ Giles came up to Buffy and asked with their itinerary was.

"First we need to get to L.A. and give Angel and the second front word of what went down," Buffy said laying the sign down against one of the bus seats.

"After that," Kennedy asked as she sat beside Willow and Vi.

"There's a world full of Slayers that need us. It's up to us to help them, train them, and figure out what to do. There's a whole new world of there now," Buffy said, a smirk on her face. The bus started to move, Robin at the wheel, Faith beside him. Dawn was sitting in the same seat as a Potential, no a Slayer, talking. Xander sat in the back, listening to Andrew, just talking about Anya, a soft smile on his face. Buffy moved to the front of the bus, watching the road as it went, going closer to another vampire that loved her but was in the back of her mind compared to her champion. He was just a footnote right now.

"Ahem," a voice came.

Buffy looked up to see Giles smiling down at her. "Yeah," Buffy asked.

"You know I had issues believing you about Spike's soul," Giles started. Buffy looked down, she really didn't want to talk about this, if Giles spit on his memory she may have to kill him.

"I see that you were right," Giles said finishing. Buffy looked at him, her eyes widened, feeling the tears. No, she would not cry here, so help her, God, she wouldn't. This was something she needed to vent in private.

"Yeah, I know," Buffy said, a smile on her face, the tears blurring her vision. Giles pulled her into a hug and Buffy let a few tears out, grateful for the shield Giles provided. Moving away, Buffy shook her head, trying to erase him out of her head for now.

"Will you be alright," Giles asked, his British tone thick, reminding her of Spike.

Buffy just smiled. "Don't know. Guess I'll have to find out."

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><p>Alright! Fourth chapter done! Freakishly bittersweet if you ask me but ok. I know this seems like the end but I still have one more chapter and please you seriously thought with me being a hardcore Spuffy that I could let them not be together? Oh, well. Last chapter: Pinky finger- Promise. Please review, I know you're out there. Just drop me a message please.<p> 


	5. Pinky Finger

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. No need to send Gunn, from Wolfram and Hart, after me as you're personal lawyer. But holy granola that would be cool!

Chapter 5: Pinky finger- Promise or swear on your life.

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><p>Dawn tried to ignore the dead look in Buffy's eyes as she made her way to the door of their Italy apartment. Nearly a year had passed since the day that they had stopped the Hellmouth. Nearly a year since their world was turned upside down for the best and the worst. Eight months had passed since they had lost both Anya and <em>him<em> in battle. The first two months were alright. The word was getting out to Slayers about places they could go to train and figure out what to do. Xander was around Europe and usually came to see them. Andrew ended up living with Buffy and Dawn much to the annoyance and somewhat happiness to the latter. Faith and Wood decided to stay in the states for awhile, finding and training girls as best they could. Kennedy, Vi, Rona, and the other veteran former Potentials had been sent to corners of the world to help and recruit. Willow and Giles had ended up in London again. Willow was part of the Coven and her powers were the talk to the community. Giles had started the Watcher's Council up again and was hoping to do more good than it had before.

Buffy and Dawn had ended up in Italy. Buffy had been a central part of setting up several of the headquarters for training and had also been on the run finding who she could. Buffy at least had gotten her dream of being able to travel. As guardian of the Hellmouth, she never had the chance. Now all she had was chances. Dawn was amazed by her sister yet again, setting up all this, holding on, but it didn't help all the subtle clues that pointed to what a mess she really was.

Dawn had wanted to stay in London with Giles and Willow. However, when asking Buffy about it, Buffy had flat out refused. The look, that Dawn was sure was the last look that several demons had gotten before Buffy had killed them, on her face. That mask of bitter and cold fury that seemed like a weapon all its own. Dawn hated those moments, where it felt like all the air had escaped the room and all that was left was to suffocate on nothingness. When they had finally gotten to Italy it became clear why her sister had picked Italy out of all places to settle for the time. The sun, the feel, the _guys_, chances are that Buffy wouldn't be reminded of what or rather _who _she had lost. Living in London, England was the nail in the coffin to Buffy, no pun intended. The guys in Italy, dark hair, eyes, and skin, not blonde hair that might as well be white, blue eyes that snap with cold fire, or with skin like ivory. Even Angel seemed darker than that.

Dawn hated that Buffy had this weird wall between them. Dawn wanted someone to grieve with about this, even if for a while that same year she would've staked Spike but she never wished him dead. That was the other thing. They weren't allowed to talk about it. That year that never happened. And it wasn't just Buffy. Xander, Willow, Giles, all of them did it. The only one that Dawn felt good about talking about that with was Andrew, _yes_; the irony was not lost on her. It just wasn't fair.

Buffy and Dawn had moments that, yes, they were glad to be there and alive but if they remotely touched on the topic of Anya, or God forbid, _him_, Buffy would shut down for days until she picked herself up again. Those days that followed were always the scariest for Dawn. Movements, smiles, and laughs seemed more like routine and acts when it came to Buffy, like a puppet being pulled on invisible strings.

Dawn knew it was stupid to hope that something was going to give but that stupid flicker of hope was still there. Dawn shook her head as she closed the door to the apartment. _Smooth Spike, you die a hero but cripple another. Where's the fairness in that? _Dawn continued down the hall, forgetting that this was happening. It was just another day in an endless stream of stupid that seemed to follow them for the past eight months.

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><p>Buffy picked at the sweatpants that she wore and big black tee that read "Sex Pistols" that looked like it ate her, it was that huge. Picking at the tea bag in her mug she turned on the T.V but not before catching a look at herself in the mirror on the wall beside the door. Lord, she looked bad. Like a demon had eaten her and spit her out. The even funnier part: Buffy couldn't work up the effort to care. She had told Giles that she needed to see if she would be alright about everything. However, what she found was that she was drowning and didn't seem to care if anyone threw her a life preserver. In fact she could see herself splashing around to draw the attention of sharks, it was that bad.<p>

How easy it would be to run away like she had done years ago, but knew she would never do it now, leave and have Dawn on her own. Plus she could see _him_ eating her alive for doing so, saying she was neither that stupid, nor that reckless about the welfare of others. As if he was one to talk, considering if he cared he would be here. Buffy shook her head at the thought and how wrong it was. Bugger… great how pathetic was it that he was in her vocabulary?

Buffy messed with the channels and settled on an international news channel that didn't feed BS, or at least not enough for it to be a pain. It seemed crime and other wrong doing was down and Buffy figured that the Slayers had something to do with it. Cleveland had gone down in crime rate, Buffy smirked; seems Faith and Robin both were working their tails off in the second Hellmouth. The crater that was formally Sunnydale came up as well and Buffy could only stare at what was the beginning and end of her life in some ways. There weren't words to describe that day. It was too painful to really give it words now. Buffy wasn't sure if she ever would be able to do so.

Then it went to an interesting story on L.A. Buffy turned up the volume to hear better what was being said about it. Apparently something big had gone down and the city of Angels was now experiencing slight aftershock from it. Buffy narrowed her eyes at the screen. What was going on over there? Why wasn't she told at all, this was the first she heard of any issues. Where was Angel and why didn't he give her a heads up? She had her ear to ground on all the systems around the world, Hell she had help in development of almost all of them, so how was it that Angel slipped by and why? Regardless of Wolfram and Hart, she still would have heard something.

Buffy was brought out of her musings as the door to Andrew's room opened. Andrew blinked at the sunlight that streamed in the apartment at ten in the morning. "Dawn already left for work," Andrew asked, disappointment coloring his tone.

Buffy grinned as she watched Andrew head for the kitchen; it seemed more and more apparent that if there was someone Andrew was close to, it was her sister and maybe if Andrew grew a set, he might become more. Her sister, despite him being a total nerd, geek, and former killer was starting to warm up to the moron it seemed as well. Buffy realized there might not be anything there and even if there was Buffy couldn't really say anything. Her list of guys consisted of killers, tortured souls, and slight nerds, so who was she to judge?

"Yeah, you really just missed her. She left about fifteen minutes ago. Hey, Andrew, any clue about what was happening in L.A.," Buffy asked. Something crashed against something and Andrew's head poked out, a look of fear, shock, and guilt crossed his face in one go. Buffy was now on red alert.

"N-no, not that I know of, anyway. Why," Andrew asked, slowly inching his way to his room but Buffy saw it and cut him off directly.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because it wasn't that many weeks ago that Angel came by looking for something or another and you decided to be an ass about it. Geez," Buffy said rolling her eyes.

Andrew loosened up considerably, happy that this was about Angel and not _him. _Buffy was still moderately in the dark about Spike. It was bad enough that Andrew had spilled the beans about Angel, considering Andrew was still Andrew and couldn't keep a secret to save himself and he loved to gossip like an old maid. Spike, however had made him promise that he wouldn't say anything. Plus, Andrew still had to get over the idea of Spike turning his intestines into a hat for him to wear.

"Buffy I can't tell you anything. I just can't. This is between you guys," Andrew said. Buffy sighed.

_Looks like I'm heading to California._

Buffy went to the phone to get in touch with the jets that helped Slayers get where they needed to be. After that was settled, Buffy ran and told Dawn about the trip, how she would be back in a day or two. Dawn wished her luck and hugged her. Back at the apartment, Buffy packed what she thought she needed, all the while trying to ignore Andrew, who was hovering like crazy, muttering about someone going to kill him. Buffy forged it, something was bugging her now. The world was off somehow, how, she wasn't sure. Getting on the jet, Buffy looked out the window before falling asleep to dream about that day eight months ago.

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><p>Angel and Spike made their way into Wolfram and Hart, ignoring the spasms of pain shooting in their various body parts. Angel couldn't feel his left leg and his left arm wasn't working right. Spike had a massive headache and huge gashes covering his chest and arms. Yes, this was the clean- up crew of L.A. and it was a bitch of a job.<p>

"Just so you know I hate you right now," Spike said to grand- sire, cringing at the snap, crackle, pop sound his shoulder made as he popped it back into place.

Angel nodded his agreement. "I hate myself right now, no worries."

Spike nodded as they made it up to office, the elevator going horrendously slow and all he wanted was some blood and some z's because right now the four hours of sleep he was getting wasn't cutting it. Adding up the numbers in his head Spike figured it had been two hundred and forty- three days since the destruction of Sunnydale. At least eight months, a long time, even Buffy was going for a shorter time by a few months or so.

Buffy soddin Summers. That name, that bloody name that was the name of an angel and a devil to Spike. Only the Devil could be that tempting and seductive but still look like an angel, a fallen angel to be more accurate. Spike stopped himself. _Oh God, I'm waxing off poetry. Someone just do me in now. Please. _He had been physical or non- ghosty for at least five months. Those five months it killed him that he couldn't go to the girl that had somehow become his whole world. However, every time he thought he would be able to do it; walk out the door, away from his pain in the ass grand-sire, who he wasn't fond of for a freakish amount of reasons, work up the courage to go find her, Spike would back up from the door, only to head back to his room to find himself nursing a bottle, trying to get the look of disgust he envisioned on Buffy's face.

He died a hero. That's all she knew and it wasn't a bad thing to be remembered as. The one drawback was the little voice in his head saying he was just like all the other men in her life; Parker, the wanker who didn't know a good thing if it hit him in the face. The toy soldier, Riley, happily married, doing God only knows what now. Angel, who if Spike ever turned out like in the end, Spike would give the next person he met full permission to just stake him. No way in Hell would Spike ever become Angel mostly because of the said girl that was currently wandering through his thoughts. Spike smirked, right at those moments it was the memory of Angel being turned into a puppet that made it slightly bearable. Lastly there was her father, who was lucky that Spike had a soul because it would be so easy to find that ignoramus and suck him dry, not just because of what he did to Buffy, but also Joyce, who reminded Spike of his own mother before she became off her rocker.

All in all, Spike knew he was pansy but to be rejected by the girl, after what had happened, Spike wasn't sure he could handle that. The elevator opened and Angel and Spike stepped off, trying very hard not to collapse on the floor, knowing Harmony would be more than a little pissed if they got blood stains on the carpet.

"Oh God, you're back," came a voice. Spike and Angel looked to see Harmony, a terrified look on her face. "Why are both of you here?"

Angel quirked an eyebrow at her, "I'm sorry. I didn't know that I wasn't allowed in my office."

Spike just snorted, it figured.

"Umm, not that's not- I mean I wasn't expecting you back. Both of you, anyway, oh God," Harmony said, looking close to hyperventilating.

"Harmony, what's going on," Angel said, walking up to her at the same exact time the door to his office flew open.

"Where the HELL have you been, you moron! What is this about something going down here and me not being informed," a pissed off voice said. Spike stopped, his eyes widened. He didn't have to see the person to know who it was that was ready to kill Angel.

"Buffy," Angel said slowly.

"No, the bloody Easter Bunny! Yes, Buffy! Buffy, who is currently going to send you to a world of pain if you don't tell me what went down here, Angel," Buffy said. Spike didn't have to see her to know her eyes had that steely edge, like the dangerous side of a knife, poised and ready.

Buffy was fuming. If it wasn't bad enough that she had to make a trek halfway across the globe, Buffy found herself waiting for at least a half an hour in his office, Harmony acting as if she was the plaque, muttering about Angel and someone else being royally pissed. It was like hearing a female Andrew all over again. However, for that split second that Buffy couldn't feel Angel she felt someone else there with her Slayer spider sense standing behind Angel, slowly trying to inch away from the scene. _Ah, Hell no_, she thought, skirting around Angel to see who it was, only to stop short when she almost collided into him but not before missing the dash of bleached blonde hair.

Spike stared down at Buffy is amazement and guilt. _God, she's beautiful_. If he was going to die one day (which didn't seem very soon because lo and behold here he was) please let it be by this Valkyrie in human form. Eight months had done seemingly nothing to her. Long, honey blonde hair that bounces when she moved, eyes the color of light emeralds, slightly tan skin, clean and unblemished, lips glossed. She had lost some weight, Spike could see that, but not in a bad way at all. She was stressed out, he had heard as much, what with the Slayers and the Scoobies, taking care of herself had taken somewhat of a backseat. Still it didn't destroy or take away from her figure, Slayer healing and energy making up for it. She was still a bit of a shortie but then again Spike had never been what you would call a raging giant. All in all the eight months came and went and she was still Buffy, still beautiful, and still affecting him like she did eight months ago.

Buffy looked at Spike, not sure how to react. The only thought she had was he's here; he's alive, well, as alive as a vampire can be. Eight months and she still couldn't wrap her head around it. Same bleached blonde hair, slicked back, not a hair out of place, face with angles she remembered and traced in her dreams, same sapphire blue eyes that could be warm as a fire or as cold as ice. Same black outfits, a black duster jacket, still the ever faithful companion. The only thing off, Buffy thought, having flashbacks to the day she found him in the high school basement after he got his soul, was the black and blue coloring Buffy could see under the collar of his shirt.

Buffy lifted a hand and tugged at the collar of his shirt only to meet with red as the black and blue marks met with blood creating a sick and ugly painting on his ivory skin. Turning back to Angel, Buffy saw that his left side looked completely totaled. Buffy turned to Spike again, tears in her eyes. "You two are idiots! Why didn't you come to me," Buffy said, her voice cracking.

Angel looked on as Buffy cried, not sure what to do. Spike looked down at her, being the reason that they didn't call her. Lifting his arms, Spike hesitated, but eventually his arms wrapped loosely around Buffy, not knowing what to say. Buffy could feel him which made her cry harder, especially after the past eight months she had had thinking he was gone period.

"Shh, it's alright, luv," Spike whispered to her, more than aware that Buffy didn't cry often and when it happened it was because she was more than emotionally drained.

Angel could only stare at the girl he fell in love with and his souled grand- childe and wonder just how close their bond truly went. He remembered asking Buffy the same question and all she could tell him was that Spike was there in her heart. Angel hadn't believed her, not really, but he couldn't help but wonder how wrong he was as she watched Buffy wrap her arms around Spike like he was her lifeline. Angel had wanted her to move on, even if it killed him, it just wasn't in the way he expected. However, that was his decision and now he would have to live the consequences.

"Hey, mind if we take this little reunion session into the office, or you know we can become the show to everything in this office," Angel said moving into his office. Buffy and Spike looked around to see at least five demons and Harmony staring at them, the demons in shock and confusion, Harmony, being a girl, vampire or not, loving the romance of the moment. Buffy ducked her head, the Slayer, crying, not a good sign. Spike glared at everyone in the building and pulled Buffy closer to him as they left to go into the office.

In the office Buffy pulled herself together and stood in the middle of the room, Spike took a seat in one of the chair, wincing as he did so, and Angel sat behind his desk. Buffy's crying soon turned into glaring at her first love. "What the hell, Angel. First I found out that L.A. is having problems, something I didn't find out by you but by a crappy new cast. I come to chew you out for that and I find him," Buffy said, pointing to Spike behind her before continuing on, "A) I want to know what went down here and B) why in didn't anyone feel the need to tell me about _him_?"

Angel sighed, and here he thought his day couldn't get any worse. "Buffy, the reason we didn't tell you was because we knew you were busy. You may not be the only One now but it's not like Faith and the rest of the girls share your dedication like Giles, Willow, Xander, and Dawn do. We know that you were busy but letting you know didn't seem important at the time."

Buffy snorted, "And what were you going to do if this, whatever it was, got pass L.A., Angel? From what I hear you were rattling a cage that didn't want to be messed with. There was a reason I made you leave Sunnydale before the battle eight months ago. I needed a second front if I had died. At least didn't leave you in the dark to the point that all you had was a flashlight."

Spike looked down. "I asked him not to involve you in what went down," Spike said, watching the battle of wills. Buffy turned in amazement.

"What," Buffy said, not following. Angel got up to leave, deciding that the two of them were going to have to hash this out, not him. Buffy and Spike didn't even notice him leave.

"I didn't want you involved. This was my battle as much as Angel's and it was my call as well," Spike said, trying very hard not to back down.

"Why? Why didn't you want me here," Buffy said in a small voice, moving closer to him.

"I couldn't stand the thought of what your face would look like if you knew I didn't die a hero," Spike said softly, hoping that she couldn't hear him. She did.

Buffy didn't say anything for a minute. "I've said it once and I'll say it again. You're a dope, you're a bonehead, and you're shirty," Spike smirked at that, remembering his made up word from that night. "What in God's green earth gave you the right to decide what I could handle? That's Angel's job, much to my ever growing annoyance. You have never done that. You've always been the one to tell me how it is, to ask my input on anything. Don't stop doing that."

Buffy stopped for a minute. "Do you have any idea what the past eight months have been like for me, honestly? I've lived the guilt that you died. That's my job, always had been. To know that nearly killed me. It didn't help that the last thing you said wasn't exactly the stuff of dreams."

Spike said nothing. What could he say? "I didn't think you would care, Buffy."

"I know that you and I have one of the weirdest relationships that anybody can ever find, honestly I do but don't ever say that I don't care because it's not true," Buffy closed her eyes, "The reason I didn't turn my back on you before was because I care about you, I believe in you. I may not have always but near a year ago I never thought I could believe in something as much as I believe that you would be there with me."

"Do you really, luv? Believe that," Spike said staring at the ground.

"With everything I have and more," Buffy said.

Spike moved from the chair and stood before her in wonder. "I guess my question is do you still."

Buffy blinked, the under laying question in that blaring in bright lights. _Do you still believe? Do you still love me_? With tears threatening to spill, Buffy took one of Spike's hands at his side and brought it up to her chest, to her heart hammering in her chest, hoping he could feel it. Spike looked at his hand resting on her heartbeat, enamored by the beat, the warmth.

"Yes, I do," Buffy said, answering both questions.

Spike's eyes widened and before Buffy could blink she could feel his lips on hers, the chill something she was so familiar with. Eight months had done a number on them both and the contact was mind blowing. Buffy pulled him closer, pressing herself against him as Spike grabbed her hips. The kiss was tame only to move from an explosion as both moved to the chair. After a few minutes breathing became an issue for Buffy as she let go of Spike to stare down at him in wonder and shock. Nearly a year, no, it had been longer then that even since they had a romantic contact with each other that was expressed completely. Everything till now was subtle, quiet, and inquisitive.

"Wow," Buffy whispered against his lips, closing her eyes. Spike stared up at her through lidded eyes, not sure what to make of this. Once again, it was her call.

"Please tell me you're coming home with me. Please," Buffy said opening her eyes.

"I can't, luv. Not right now," Spike said, closing his eyes so he would see the sadness in her face.

"Why, and this better be good. I just got you back only for you to say you can't come with me."

"There are things I need to do before I can come to you. I have to see if I can be on my own. It's not something I can really explain just trust when I say this is something I need to do," Spike said, praying that she would understand.

Buffy smiled sadly. "Yeah, I trust you. Just don't make me wait forever. Eight months was enough."

Spike nodded and with that the two detangled themselves from another and got up from the chair. Buffy turned to the door but not before sparing him a look, only to stop short when she saw that he was right beside her.

"Do I have you," Buffy asked, eyebrows teasing, but still laid the thought that maybe this was a dream.

Spike smiled a genuine smile. "Always."

Buffy smiled and left the office, the door shutting behind her. Saying goodbye to Harmony, Buffy made her way to the elevator only to be stop by Angel.

"So how did it go in there," Angel asked looking at the ground.

Buffy looked at her first love in question. "Alright." Buffy paused. "You know what? It went better then alright."

"I guess you will be leaving then," Angel said, confirming what he already knew.

"Yeah, Spike said that he was going to stay, take care of a few things," Buffy said, feeling awkward.

Angel cringed slightly. "You know as much as it pains me to admit, and believe me it pains me, for awhile lately I've seen that Spike has something up on me."

Buffy smiled sadly. "I love you, Angel. You were my first with everything and I hope that you never forget that, but I know that I need Spike. I know that it sounds stupid and it makes no sense but he clicks with me even when we hated each other, how, I don't know. I just do."

Angel nodded and with that the elevator came open and Buffy stepped on. "Goodbye Angel and good luck." Buffy said, the doors closing behind her. Angel stood still, feeling the chapter on them coming to a permanent close, but feeling good about it, saddened, but still had both of them intact, even if she wasn't his to hold anymore.

* * *

><p>A week had pass since Buffy had found out that Spike was alive and currently living it up in L.A., so to speak. She came home to find Andrew in a corner freaking out, watching the phone like it was ready to eat him. It was actually pretty funny to see. Andrew had feared a collect call from L.A., the caller being Spike promising that Andrew would know what it felt like to have a railroad spike in a very uncomfortable place. Buffy didn't tell him right off the bat about Spike understanding, mostly because she wanted her revenge on Andrew for not telling her the whole story about when Angel came to Italy and they had the decoy Buffy set. After a few hours (or days, who's counting) Buffy let him in on the story and much to Andrew's happiness that was the end of that.<p>

Dawn had been more then excited to hear that Spike was alive and would meet up with them soon in Italy. Buffy had been talking of going to London with Giles and Willow when they came by next. Dawn smiled softly, happy to see that Buffy was truly going to be alright.

Soon two weeks later, the gang was finally all together for the first time in a while. Giles was looking extremely happy to report on the Council getting up and running finally, pleased with the library that he contributed to with his copies of all his ancient texts. Willow had grown her hair out and had a healthy glow about her, the coven and England had done wonders for her. Xander, rugged and weathered from his trips with his eye patch were something different but still happy and excited about his trips.

There they were, the original Scoobies. Buffy was practically buzzing to have them back together, forgetting that a few months back this sight would have brought her to tears thanks to the absence of Anya and Spike. While knowing that Spike was back it still didn't soften the blow that Anya's death had taken with them as a group and to Xander. _Yet another unreasonable turn of unfairness that fate decide to take_, Buffy thought, thinking to all the people who had died to the people that lived. She got Spike back but without Anya, the bitterness leaving an ashy taste in her mouth. Xander's pain was no less then hers but the Power To Be had let Spike live for some screwed up reason.

Buffy was brought out of her thoughts by a knock on the door. Buffy was truly expecting it to be the food that they had ordered, instead, standing at her door, looking ready to walk away from the door, stood Spike.

Willow, who sat in a chair facing the door and could see him first, gasped, jumping up in surprise and shock. Giles and Xander stood at Willow's rush of air to see what was causing the commotion, shocked to see the vampire standing at the door, looking at Buffy. Dawn having no reservations at all, jumped from her seat, crossed the threshold, bounced into Spike's arms as he caught her, letting out a small oof in the process.

"You're really back," Dawn whispered in the leather of the duster, knowing he heard her.

"That's for big sis to decide, Niblet," Spike said, stroking her hair, amazed how eight months had turned Dawn from the little kid he knew to the young woman currently choking the life, or un-life, out of him.

Buffy watched the exchange with tears in her eyes. Dawn let Spike go and together they stood at the entrance to the apartment. Buffy realized they were waiting for the invite even if it wasn't necessary and with that Buffy stood aside from the door and with a welcoming smile said, "Spike, would you please come in?"

Spike tilted his head and with a soft smile crossed the threshold with Dawn leaning in his side. Xander and Giles stood awkwardly off to the side, not sure what to do. Willow, however, came up to the vampire and hugged him, a smile on her face. Spike stood in the hug, shocked and amazed that Red had decided to hug him.

"Hello Spike," Willow said pulling away from the hug.

"Lo Red," Spike said.

Willow laughed softly. "It's good to see you again," Willow said seeing Spike's confused and stunned look on his face.

"You too, Red, you have no idea," Spike said, honesty ringing through his words. For what it was worth he had started to genuinely like the Scoobies when they didn't hate him. Giles came up to the group and held out a hand to Spike, who seemed even more confused by Giles then he did by Willow. This was the same man who tried to plot his death with the cross happy principal that Faith was currently with. However this was also the man that every bit a father to Buffy then her own. With that Spike shook Giles's hand and though it didn't completely heal the rift between the two men, it was a start.

Xander stayed back away from them in thought, more specifically at Buffy. She looked radiant, something Xander hadn't seen in months from her. He lost Anya, yes, and it hurt more than he could describe. However, he didn't shut down the way Buffy did two months after Sunnydale. She had been fine for the most part, setting up different bases, gathering profiles on different veteran and baby slayers, as Buffy dubbed them. It had been fine or at least that's what he thought. Xander will never forget how she looked that day about two months back, which was incidentally that last time he had seen her until now. She was moving into the apartment in Italy and needed some help with the utilities. The moving wasn't hard, considering Buffy and Dawn barely had enough possessions to fill a box besides their new beds, a tv, and a sofa. The rest came with the apartment. Each girl got their own room and also had a guest room, where Andrew now stayed until he figured out what he was doing with himself.

Xander had to go check on something before he left and went to tell Buffy only to see her on her bed, crying softly, not enough that anyone could hear, but no one could deny the tears falling from her cheeks. Xander did nothing, what could he do. Instead he left the room as quietly as he could that Angel and Spike would have given him a pat on the back for stealth.

When he had made it to the hall, he was surprised to see Dawn scrubbing a counter top in the kitchen, her hair pulled back into a bun. Dawn looked look from her work to see the sorry look that Xander currently wore.

"She's crying," Dawn said, not a question, a pure statement. Xander nodded, not sure how to take seeing Zena the Warrior Princess, also known as Buffy, crying.

"She does that every now and again," Dawn said staring at the rag she had used to clean.

"What, you mean this isn't the first time the Buffster has randomly burst out into tears," Xander asked, still not following.

"No it isn't. What's scary is that it's happening a lot more now than it did immediately after, well you know," Dawn said staring at the shiny counter. Xander knew what she meant, Sunnydale, them losing Anya, the Potentials, their home, _Spike_. Xander may have not like Spike for many years, but even he could see that something was different with the newly souled vampire and his slaying friend. A friendship, an understanding, a redo, they wanted to forget that year that Buffy described as Hell, but knew they couldn't go back to be enemies. They had seen too much of each other both physically and emotionally, felt the other's pain to go back to semi hating each other. Even so, Xander, Willow, Dawn, and even Giles could still see that the sexual tension and frustration, the glances, the small touches that Buffy only reserved for Spike. They weren't over, not by a long shot. Buffy was never that way with Angel and she knew it, hell, even Angel knew it.

Xander sighed at the thought. Dawn could see he was working it out in his head. "It always seemed that she breaks down when she's not busy. When she has time to think about him," Dawn said making toward the hall to see if she could hear Buffy. She didn't want to tell Xander that it was worse at night, much worse. At least in the day, Dawn had the sound of people and voices to keep the sobs away. At night, however, they were there, and it was getting harder not to notice.

Xander left after that that day so many months ago and now, standing here in Buffy's living room where that girl was crying seemed like a shadow. Xander, grudgingly but happily, had to figure that the reason Buffy was able to give that million dollar grin was because of the bleached blonde vampire, and even if things were odd between Spike and Xander, he was alright as long as that grin stayed there.

Xander made his way to the group and as always made a smartass remark but not with the usual venom to it. Spike grinned, noticing it and was able to fire back. The weird motley crew of friends and family sat down and talked about everything that had been going on. Spike told them what he had been doing in L.A., how he had come back about two weeks are Sunnydale's destruction. The gang went back and forth about what they were doing about the Slayers, the Council, and the Coven. Spike listened with rapt attention, determined to see how these people were doing. Buffy, instead, made due watching Spike, still not believing that he was there on her couch with her and Willow on either side of him. Buffy was starting to be able to read his movements, reading at what he thought of something.

Soon the food that the group had ordered arrived and over it they began devising battle plans and where to send what Slayers and who was to be their official. The Scoobies were surprised that Spike gave genuine and good thoughts and the meeting was soon ended. The Scoobies left for their hotels and Dawn and Andrew turned in early, feeling that Buffy and Spike wanted some alone time.

With only a small lamp and candles providing what little light in the room, the two weren't really sure what to say to each other without breaking this moment. Buffy moved closer to Spike and leaned into his chest, resting her head on his shoulder and looking at the ceiling in thought.

"I still cannot believe you are here. It's like some really sick dream or a beautiful nightmare as cliché as that sounds. Not that I'm complaining but I still think you're just going to disappear on me again," Buffy said closing her eyes.

Spike said nothing as he threaded his fingers through her hair in a soothing manner. Wrapping his arms around Buffy, Spike drew her closer into his chest, placing his head into the crook of her neck, taking in her scent.

"I don't know how to prove that I'm here. That I'm real," Spike said softly, his voice muffed by her shoulder but she could hear him loud and clear.

Turning in his arms, Buffy smiled. "Kiss me," she said.

Spike said nothing and leaned his face closer to hers and with that came the sparks. Buffy sighed and nibbled at his lips and Spike responded in turn to her, playing and teasing. It wasn't enough to bring the apartment down around them but the world did stop, just for the two of them.

They parted and just stared at each other, not wanting to break the silence. Buffy bite her lips, smiling her lips slightly bruised and pink. Spike smiled back softly, happy that she was there. Buffy then held up her hand and her pinky finger. Spike quirked his scarred eyebrow at the delicate pinky, eyes questioning.

"Promise me, promise me that you will be here in the morning," Buffy said. Spike nodded and entangled his pinky around hers and with that Buffy grabbed a blanket and draped it over both of them and curled into Spike and within seconds was fast asleep. Spike slowed his breathing and ran a hand over her hair, thinking back to that night months ago in an abandoned house that became heaven in the middle of hell. Spike smiled softly and looked down at the girl that in a few short years had become his world and with that he fell asleep beside her like children in a screwed up fairytale.

* * *

><p>Buffy woke to see that the shades were drawn to block out light away from the sun. Dawn and Andrew must have gotten up earlier and saw them and took that into consideration before they left because she couldn't hear a thing from either room.<p>

Turning on her side, Buffy realized that this was the first time that she didn't have to run away for something. She could stay here, in Spike's arms and it was fine. She didn't have that with Angel or even Riley, as she always had to leave for something. Lifting herself up Buffy softly pressed her lips to Spike's in a small kiss, just to prove he was there. When she ended the kiss she saw nothing but blue as Spike's eyes focused on her and stayed.

"Well, luv, if that's how I'm getting up every day you will never hear a complaint out of me," Spike said, voice still groggy from sleep.

Buffy ducked her head and smiled, moving to get up, only to have Spike's arm keeping her rooted on the spot. "No so fast, where are you going?"

Buffy gently moved his arm and got up and went to her room, which Spike followed to see Buffy moving to the hallway towards her room. Spike crossed the threshold of the room to see Buffy standing by the window, the sun playing on her hair.

"You're here," Buffy said, tenderly, the tears there.

"Promised I would, didn't I," Spike said, smirking playfully at her, like she dare doubt him. Buffy laughed and with that the two didn't leave the apartment for the whole day. No, make that that they didn't leave the room the whole day.

* * *

><p>Buffy stood over the gorge that the demon had made. Yet another apocalypse and here she was but this time she wasn't alone. No, everyone was with her. Giles, Willow, Dawn, Xander, Spike, Faith, Robin, Angel, and his team, and the other Slayers as they prepared the face off, it was a who's who contest of the world's champions.<p>

Buffy turned to see Spike standing there with a sword in hand and a quizzical look on his face. Buffy went and hugged him, worried that they might not make it out of this alive. Thinking back the night that he came to her home in Italy, Buffy stuck out her pinky to him. Spike smiled seeing it and wrapped his pinky around hers.

"Promise me that you will be here in the morning," Buffy said, remembering her words that night. Spike nodded, gentle smile still on his face.

With that the battle began and ended.

And you know what? Both of them were there in the morning, just as promised.

* * *

><p>AN: WOOOOO HOOOOOO, IT'S OVER! Signals is officially done and I just want to thank everyone that reviewed and favored it. My love and thanks to you all.

Please drop a review about the ending and everything.

TTF


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